Thursday, May 27, 2010

emotional blogging **Updated**

I just have to do some emotional blogging because I think that maybe it will help me start to think clearly again. Do you ever have those moments? Where you just need to get your freaking out over with so that way your mind is cleared of all of it and you can think clear again? This is that morning for me.

You see when I was pregnant with Ian I had to do non-stress tests. Basically they hook you up to a monitor to monitor the baby's heart beat and to monitor your blood pressure. This can take anywhere from 10 minutes to when ever they remember you are in there. I am seriously not kidding. One time I was there for about 45 minutes because they had forgotten about me. I understand that they are busy, but don't you think it would help them out if they just got me out of there so they could have the room for the women who are actually in labor?

This brings me to my freak out moment of the week. I have several people who are willing to help watch Ian for me. Which is so great! I am so blessed by that (see I am already thinking more clearly). However if I remember correctly from last time it would really work best if I had the same appointment each week. However, my babysitters can't all come the same time each week. There is no way I will take Ian with me because if he is stuck in his stroller for a long time then he will start to get frustrated which in turn will cause my blood pressure to go up.

I just wish I didn't have to have this done. Everything has gone well with this pregnancy and my ultra sounds show that Owen is growing like he needs to. My thyroid is at the right level and has been the entire pregnancy. I have had one doctor appointment with high blood pressure and I am pretty sure the reason was because it was hotter than all get out in the office that day. So with that being said, WHY IN THE WORLD DO I HAVE TO DO THIS? This is causing me more stress, which isn't good.

Well ok, I am still stressed out, but it feels good to get this out. If you think about it please pray that this will all come together and that I will be able to get my babysitters lined up and not have to end up taking Ian with me to the non-stress tests. Pray that I will begin sleeping better because that too causes my stress level to go up. Thanks for all of your prayers, they are much appreciated.

**Peeps I have the best husband in the world. In fact I feel sorry for all of you who have to settle for second best, but not sorry enough to give him up! (I actually hope that you think your husband is the best too, although you would be deceived, I hope you at least think it). He emailed me in response to this post and offered to take time off work to be with Ian while I did my non-stress tests. I told him it shouldn't come to that but was frustrated because they only do them in the mornings or after 5. He then responded by saying we could just do them in the evening and he would hang out with Ian (good father/son time). I hate that our evening time together will be interrupted but I feel it is for the best for right now. It will just be once a week for about 8 weeks (unless baby decides to make his grand entrance early). I can't tell you the relief I felt after we got this worked out! I love my husband so much. I am not sure what I did to deserve him, but I sure am glad I did it. I think God truly had us in mind together when he made us!**

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