Finding your purpose as a stay at home mom...

It was 6 years ago this month that I turned in my 2 week notice. I can't believe I have not worked outside of the home for that long! I never in my wildest dreams thought that I would get to be a stay at home mom. It is for sure a blessing that I get to experience so much with my kids.

However, it is also a struggle. I have had good times and bad times. There are days where I feel like I have done so much and yet when you look around the house it seems as if I haven't done anything at all. 

Lately I have been struggling with finding my purpose as a stay at home mom. Now many of you may say this "your purpose is your kids" or "teaching your kids and taking care of your house is your purpose". Please, I beg of you that if a stay at home mom (SAHM) ever talks to you about not having a purpose DO NOT say those words to her. The truth is, taking care of our kids is every moms job, whether you work outside the home or not! 

You see when I worked, I enjoyed it! I was good at it. I loved the people I worked with. It was really an ideal situation. Well until the company got purchased and things started falling apart. But all my favorite coworkers still work together, just at another company. I feel as though I am missing out. I use to have inside jokes with people. I brought home some money (not as much as the hubs, but still contributed). I felt like I had purpose when I worked outside the home. I got to help people with finding the right mask for their CPAP. I got to work with people on how they could pay their bills. I felt like a lot of what I did some how was a blessing to others. Whether it was to the patient or to my co-workers or my boss. 

I have recently done a little re-search on this topic. It turns out I am not the only SAHM that has gone through this. Here are two blog posts that I felt were helpful. 

     The Wonder Years

     The Huffington Post

    

Now then, I do not have the answer yet to finding my purpose as a stay at home mom. However I am working on it. I would love to hear your stories and also I will hopefully be sharing some other stories from some other SAHM friends.

I heard this song the other day by One Girl Nation. Just thought it was so great and encouraging, no matter what you are going through! 

Being an example to our kids...

I am a spender. There I said it. I love to spend money. Not just on myself, in fact I probably enjoy spending it on others more. However, after Christmas I decided I would use the money I got as a gift and put it towards making our guest room look nice. 

I have had so much fun doing this. I love finding bargains and cute things and even better cute things that are bargains!

I have since been looking for some cute night stands/end tables/side tables. What ever you want to call them. The thing is is that most stores and people who are re-selling them are really proud of them ;) Meaning, they are expensive. I just can't seem to bring myself to pay so much for tables in a room that I won't be in. So I decided to just wait till the right pair came along. 

Well a few weeks ago, what I thought was the right pair, came along!  I was so excited because they were cute and really priced pretty good compared to other ones on craigslist. The only problem was that I only had about 1/2 the amount of money for them. So at the dinner table, in front of the kids, I asked Justin if he would mind giving me some credit and that I would "pay it back" with my birthday money (my birthday is in February). He thought about it and said yes. 

After I started thinking about it though, I decided that I shouldn't get the tables. Why? Well because what am I teaching my kids? If I took the "credit" then that is teaching them it is okay to go into debt. Now I know that this isn't quite the same as a credit card or anything, but it is still debt non the less. So I told Justin that I would just wait till I had the money. I also told the boys, who probably didn't care, that I was wrong to ask daddy to let me get the tables even if I didn't have the money. 

Sometimes, being a good example to our kids is tough. It might mean costing us cute side tables or even worse! I'm glad I chose to not get the tables. I am trusting that God will provide the right tables for me when I have the money or when we put it in our budget to get them with our general fund. 

What is something you have had to change or apologize for in order to be a good example to your kids?

The many stages of recovery...

Recovery after the breast reduction was not at all what I had expected it to be. Now I am currently about 2 weeks post surgery, so I'm sure there will be even more stages added to the list. But for now, here is what I have been going through:

Stage 1 - I was so sick immediately after the surgery that all I could think about was feeling better. I didn't at all think about if the surgery was successful. I woke up really, really, REALLY hot. So much so that it was hard to breath. The nurses found a fan and plugged it in and had it pretty much right in front of me. Those poor nurses. They really put up with a lot from me. I apologized once I started feeling better. I'm pretty sure I was rude to them at some point during the post op recovery time. The nurses really were great. They were nice enough to be kind, but also forceful enough to make me do things that they knew would help me. Things like making me drink some sprite, eat some crackers and go to the bathroom. Once I had gone to the bathroom they put me in a wheel chair and took me out to the car. That is really all I needed to start feeling better. The cool air just washed over me and I felt so much better. 

Stage 2- At this point I was still not concerned with the results of the surgery. We were home and I was hungry and in pain. Thankfully my husband took the advice of the nurses and had already dropped my prescriptions off at the pharmacy. So while I laid in bed at home, he drove to Walgreen's and McDonald's. I couldn't take the pain meds until I had eaten something. For some reason the only thing that sounded good was a cheeseburger from McDonald's. I know, so lame, but it was SO good. Especially after having not eaten all day, I felt like I was eating at a 5 star restaurant!

Stage 3 - Okay, so now the pain meds have set in and I have decided to actually look at myself. I was not sure what to think. I had a lot of gauze on and tape and weird alien horns below my breasts. To be fair to my doctor, they did tell me this is how I would look. I just didn't ask that many questions about it in order to get more details, so when I looked in the mirror I kind of was disappointed.

Stage 4 - Depression and randomly crying. This has been the hardest part of the recovery stages thus far. I was feeling ugly. I seriously looked like a half human half alien character from a sifi movie! This was not at all what I had signed up for. To add to these feelings I also just wanted to cry. There was not really a reason, I just needed to shed some tears. My poor husband put up with a lot of emotions during these few days. I sure don't know what I would have done with out him there! During this stage one of my best friends, Erin, found a website with others who had gone through or were about to go through breast reductions. This was the best medicine! I was able to see that others felt the same things I did. I was not alone in my depression and crying. This immediately helped me feel better. I was able to share with Justin the things I read and explain to him that I am not the only one who goes through this part of recovery! 

Stage 5 - I think this is the stage I am currently in. I am pretty much pain free, I feel a little tightness in the breast area, but it isn't anything I feel like taking pain meds for. I am feeling really good about myself! I realized that I didn't have any clothes to wear to church, so I tried on an old dress that I haven't been able to fit into in a long time, and it fit! I loved that feeling. Then this past Sunday I did the same thing. I totally rocked a dress that I couldn't fit into before the surgery! Also, I went bridesmaid dress shopping with my friend who is getting married in April, and I was able to fit into strapless dresses!!! STRAPLESS. This has never been an option for me. I always have had to get the dresses with high backs and wide straps or sleeves, in order to cover my bra. So needless to say I was thrilled! 

I hope that the stages continue to get better. I have about 2 1/2 months still before my "alien horns" are healed up and no longer showing. The doctor told me that the slower they go away the better the healing will be. So here is hoping for a slow healing process. 

Oh and since my surgery I am way more aware of my middle section. I totally see my stomach more and feel  more of a desire to work on loosing weight! My friend, Jessica, is going to help me along the way. She is about to be certified as a personal trainer. I'm so thankful for her and the fact that she is going to help me out. I will get to be one of her first testimonies for her new job as a personal trainer! Hoping to make her proud!

Here are some after pictures. The one in the white shirt is like a day after the surgery. They have settled a bit now and don't look quite as "at attention" (as one of my other friends put it). My favorite is the one of me in the bridesmaid dress! Again, did I mention it is strapless?!?!

Picture on the left is the before picture. Picture on the right is the after picture. I was not happy in this picture. I think I must have been in Stage 4 ;)

This is the dress I ended up getting. It will be in an aqua color though. :)

I was being silly and my friend Erin snapped the picture at this moment :)

Breast reduction surgery...

So back in October my mom and step dad were up visiting. As we were headed to one of the boys soccer games, my mom and I began to talk about our back pains and such. We got on the topic of breast reductions. It really got me thinking about how I should talk to my new doctor about getting this done. So I made an appointment to talk to him! 

It happened really fast. One day I'm in my doctor's office, a week or so later I was meeting with a plastic surgeon! That same day we scheduled the surgery! I couldn't believe it. I was so thrilled! In fact I was so thrilled that I didn't think about all the questions I should have been asking. All that I cared about was that this was happening! 

Not long after my appointment with the plastic surgeon we got the approval letter from my insurance! Again, so thrilled that I didn't consider doing research or asking questions. 

Fast forward to January 7th. My mom came up to take care of the kids. Justin took off work so he could be my care taker after the surgery. However, God had different plans. Not sure why, but he did. I ended up in the ER that night because of a bite of chicken getting stuck in my esophagus. I was so worried that I wouldn't be able to do the surgery the next morning. However, the nurses and doctors there seemed to think I would be okay. So the next morning, bright and early, we headed to the surgery facility. Only to be told they were about to call me to tell me that the surgery had to be re-scheduled because of my ER trip the night before. Since I had to be put out the night before they didn't want to put me out with in 24 hours of it. Needless to say I was pretty disappointed. Thankfully, though, they were able to put me in on Friday morning. So not all was lost. My mom was still here and Justin went back to work for the next 2 days and just took off Friday and Monday. The kids and I got to hang out with my mom, Nana. It was pretty nice actually! 

So I am going to end this post with my before picture. Stay tuned to the next post (I should be typing it today) to find out more about the surgery, recovery and after pictures!

This was the morning of my first scheduled surgery. I was smiling and SO excited!

The morning of the actual surgery. I was a little less excited, probably because I was tired and hungry. But still ready to not be so big on top!

I want you to know...

Several months ago Justin and I talked to our church about joining with 2 other couples and teaching a young married Sunday School class. One of the many thoughts that we all had was that it would be nice to have a group of people that are in our age group/walk of life to do life with.  

Little did I know that so soon after our group started meeting that we would be going through such a huge loss. On Monday, December 23rd, a young wife/mother lost her life. I am still in shock about this and I can only imagine what her husband is going through. 

The loss of this precious life has had me thinking. First of all I have been telling people how much I love them. If for some reason God wants to take me to heaven at a moments notice, I want everyone that I love to know that I loved them. 

Second, I have been thinking about salvation. There are people in my life that I am always praying for, that they will find the truth about God and his son Jesus. That they will realize that the only way to get to heaven is to have a relationship with God. I used to use the term "saved", and while that is still a valid term, I feel like it should be explained in a different way. For example I could say I was "saved" at age 14, then go on and live my life however I please, but of course I would say I am "saved" and that I know that I am going to heaven. I think that there are a lot of people who feel this way.

A good way to think about it is like this: Once I met the band News Boys (christian music band). I even got to drive them around town! That was when I was in high school. Currently I listen to some of their songs on the radio and of course I tell people about the time I got to drive them around town. So with that being said, does that mean I am friends with them? Do you think if I called them up they would verify that yes indeed they had met me back in my high school days? My guess is that they would not even remember. You see if I don't continue to have a relationship with them, why would they have any reason to remember meeting me? 

In my opinion, our relationship with God is the same way. If I am not building a relationship with him. Learning about him, telling others about him, talking to him through prayer, reading the Bible, then why should He remember me the time back in the day when I asked him to save me, to be my heavenly father? 

This is just something to ponder. If you haven't started a relationship with God then now is the time. You never know when your last breath will be, so make the most of each moment that you have. If you have any question about God, salvation or a relationship with God, please leave a comment and way to reach you. I would be happy to talk to you about it.

Till death do us part...

Today makes 7 years ago I said "I do" to an amazing man! I don't know what life would be like with out my wonderful husband Justin, but I do know that it would not be good.

I think so many people have such a distorted few of what marriage should be like. They see these romantic movies or read novels with amazingly written love stories in them and they think that is how their marriage should be. But the truth is that life is not a movie or a novel. We are all, by nature, selfish people.

Justin and I do not have a perfect marriage. We have had arguments, we have shed tears. I can even remember a time when I was so mad, I put Ian in the car and just drove for a while. I didn't know what I planned to do but I knew I didn't want to be in the same house as my husband. So, how did we get past these moments? Well here are the three things that I feel like have played the biggest part in keeping us together.

1. God. Justin and I both have a relationship with God and put God first. Knowing that the Bible only gives a few justified reasons for divorce, we have pushed through those hard times and have not given up.

2. The 5 Love Languages. This book has very much saved our marriage. I had no clue that there were different ways people show love until we read it. My love language is gifts and words of affirmation and Justin's is acts of service and quality time.  There are times when we are both right on top of it. I'm doing laundry, cleaning house and making dinner. Justin gets me flowers, leaves notes and tells me I'm beautiful. Then there are other times when we have just got used to the way things are going. Like recently, Justin has been doing the laundry and I just decided to let him. I hate laundry. But that is no excuse to stop filling Justin's love tank. We like to have a talk every now and then and ask each other how our "love tanks" are doing. I'm actually considering re-reading the book so I can get some more ideas on how to speak Justin's love language.

3. Communication. I think everyone can agree that this is a biggie! It is so difficult sometimes because I want Justin to just be able to read my mind and know what I want or know how I'm feeling. But he can not. And I can't read his either. They won't know what you don't tell them.

Now, you might be thinking that I have been focusing on the bad parts of marriage. But friends, these bad times, once worked through have led to the most beautiful of times, times where we lay on the bed and laugh, times where we cry. It really is wonderful and I couldn't imagine life with out my husband, good times and bad times. He is my earthly rock (God is my heavenly rock).

Here is a song we had sung at our wedding. I believe with all my heart that our story is the second greatest story ever told (the song says the greatest story, but we can't really compete with God loving us so much that he gave his son for us)! Happy Anniversary baby! I love you and respect you so much!

Snow days...

Ian's school was canceled both yesterday and today due to bad weather. I thought it pretty funny that it was canceled yesterday because there was nothing in the morning. But they closed it in preparation, so that was nice. It was super cold and I didn't want to get out anyways. :) 

It started yesterday, the sleet and freezing rain. But then this morning, well we woke up to a winder wonderland! The boys of course wanted to go outside. I didn't want to at first, but my friend Tara kind of talked me into it. We were out there all of 5 minutes before the boys got too cold and headed back inside! Which I was fine with. We came inside and Ian and I enjoyed some hot chocolate, which is new. They haven't wanted hot chocolate in the past! 

We were out there long enough to get some good pictures though! Enjoy our winter wonderland.