Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Thankful Thursday's

Have you ever had one of THOSE days? I'm talking one of those days that you break down crying in the chair at the dentists office? Well yesterday was one of those days for me! Here's my story...

It started out at around 4:30 in the morning, yes you read correctly 4:30 AM. I got up to check on Ian and of course all was well, he just makes noises in his sleep that sound like crying. So I head back to bed only to be met with another awful cry coming from the monitor. So thinking that I have to be supper mom/supper wife I got up and told Justin I would handle it. (I think my words were more like "whatever, I'm awake I'll handle it" not said in the nicest tone). So I decide at that point that instead of going back to bed (I forgot to mention Ian was yet again dead asleep) I would sit in the recliner and try to sleep. Of course at that point he decides that he wants to wake up. I went ahead and got him out of his car seat (yes he sleeps in his car seat, he has acid reflux and the doctor recommended it) and got the bottle, because why else would he wake up at 5 in the morning? I try and feed him and he falls asleep! So I thought ok, no harm done I can put the bottle back in the fridge and go back to sleep. Um no, Ian had other plans because as soon as I put him down he woke up and began to cry! AGH! Okay so to avoid making this long story even longer I will just tell you that this happened several times. Finally about 5:50 (still in the morning) he decided he was ready to eat. I was thrilled because I thought this meant that in about 30 minutes I would be able to put him down and go back to bed. Yes well God rang the "that's incorrect" buzzer on me. Finally I thought I found relief around 7 when I was able to lay in bed longer than 5 minutes! Only to make it 10 minutes of lying in bed. I finally decided to accept the position of human pillow and lay on the couch while holding Ian. He enjoyed this as did I, seeing how I got to get two hours of uncomfortable sleep. :) I woke up around 9 because, yep you guessed it Ian woke up! I seriously felt like crying all morning. In fact my best friend called me around 10:30ish and I told her I would have to call her back. Why? Because I was so very emotional I didn't think I would be able to handle talking on the phone. Oh and in addition to being emotional I was watching Gilmore Girls and what is wrong in the world when Rorie and Lorily (totally spelled those wrong I am sure) don't get along? Thankfully it was the episode where they made up at the end and even though I had it on mute (because I decided to call my friend back) I saw the hug at the end! All is right in the world of re-run television! Ok, sorry for the side story, back to my day. I had a dentist appointment at 2pm and really needed to shower. Usually I would just get Ian to sleep and put him in his car seat in the bathroom while I showered, however he was not sleeping at this point and lets just say momma needed to shower bad! At some point I decided to just put him in his bouncy chair and take that to the bathroom. Guess what? It worked! Thank God (literally I am thanking God - Lord thank you for allowing my child to be content while I was in the shower. It was such a blessing to be able to be clean today! Forgive me for taking for granted things like being clean. Amen). I forgot to mention that being tired and depressed in the morning I ate 28 points for breakfast! Yep take that weight watchers! Ok on to the trip to the dentist. Ian slept in the car which was fantastic until of course the moment I sat down in the chair. He began to get fussy and so I rocked him in his car seat for as long as I could, then it came. The flood of tears that I just couldn't stop! Oh boy was I embarrassed at first. But you know I truly believe that God placed me in that dentists office yesterday. Susan, the dental hygienist came around and asked if I was ok and I gave the answer of which I thought would get her to leave me alone "I'm just tired and emotional". Hmm, I didn't fool her! A veteran mom who went through postpartum depression wasn't fooled by my answer. She came around and gave me a hug and told me it was ok and I could just let it out. Then she started to ask me questions like "have I felt overwhelmed" and "have I felt like a bad mom". The answers to all of her questions were pretty much yes. She told me that I needed to call the doctor as soon as I was done at the office because she didn't want it to get as bad as it got for her (she said she felt like taking her life after two years of postpartum depression). Back in her day they didn't treat women for things like that like they do now. She then proceeded to have one of the office staff ladies come and hold Ian while she finished cleaning my teeth. What a blessing to break down crying in the dentist! See what I mean when I say I had one of THOSE days?

All of this leads me to this...Thankful Thursdays! I read so many other blogs that have themed days that I decided to do one of my own called Thankful Thursdays. I am going to share what I am thankful for and would love for you to do the same (either by comment or leave the link to your blog below). So today I am thankful for Susan the dental hygienist. I don't believe I need to go into any more detail as to why. :)

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