4 years old...

Can you believe that my sweet little baby Ian is now 4 years old? I know I can't. He is growing up to be such a smart, silly and sweet boy! I did an interview with him when sending out an email to my family and I thought I would share it on here too.

His favorite food is: PB&J sandwich
His favorite movie: Veggie Tales, The search for Noah's umbrella
His favorite drink: slushy (I'm pretty sure he said this because he had one today)
What he wants to be when he grows up: Doctor. Mommy, I mean Batman, or a fireman. (He is so ambitious) :)
His favorite color: Red
His favorite song: Batman (dodododododododododo Batman!)
His favorite Disney show: Little Einsteins
Who do you want to marry when you grow up: Ashleigh (this is a girl that I have been friends with since high school. He talks about her all the time, it is so cute!)
Do you have a girl friend: No
What is your favorite PBS Kids show: Super Why
Are you tired of me asking questions: yeah, no I'm not tired.

Ian at one month old

Ian at 4 years old

My silly boys...

Each month I try to take a family picture to hang up in our dinning room. At some point we will have a years worth of pictures hanging up. It will be fun to see how much our family changes over the months and years! 

I kind of forgot to take our August picture until the very last day of the month.  Ian and Owen decided to do some silly poses before we did our family picture. I sure do love my sweet family!

To remember

This past week I bought a decorative cross. It is beautiful. I bought it to hang with the pictures of our living kids. It is for us to remember our sweet baby that we lost. 

I know I have talked about it a lot lately, but it is just what is on my mind. 

 

The dark places we go...

Tonight I miss my baby. I want to put my hand on my belly and feel her kick. I want to talk to her and pray for her. But I can't. I can't do any of that. I hate this. I have gone to see my counselor and while that helped, I just don't know how to get out of this dark place that miscarriage has taken me. 

They say that you will move past it. They say that things will get better. But will I ever really move past the loss of this baby? I don't know. Will things ever get better? Again, I don't know. 

I know that I love my sweet boys that God has already blessed me with. I don't want anyone to think that I don't. Still though, there is now something...someone really...missing from my life. 

I love you sweet baby girl Christy.

Writing letters...

Ian wrote his first letter "A" today! I wrote the first one and then talked him through writing his own. Of course the super proud mom in me overreacted, causing him to be embarrassed.  Perhaps once school starts (tomorrow) he will want to learn to write more!

What I'm learning...

Recently the ladies in our FLOCK (aka Sunday School) started reading a book called 'Made to Crave'. It is really good and I am loving it so far. 

Something that I really like is the way she takes scripture and applies it to food our and our relying on it rather than God. 

Take for instance Esau in the Bible: (Genesis 25:29-33)

29 Once when Jacob was cooking stew, Esau came in from the field, and he was exhausted. 30 And Esau said to Jacob, “Let me eat some of that red stew, for I am exhausted!” (Therefore his name was called Edom.) 31 Jacob said, “Sell me your birthright now.” 32 Esau said, “I am about to die; of what use is a birthright to me?” 33 Jacob said, “Swear to me now.” So he swore to him and sold his birthright to Jacob. 

The author of the book brings up the fact that Esau was willing to give up something so wonderful and important for what would please him at that moment. 

How often do we do that.? How often do I do that? Yeah, the answer would be ALL THE TIME! I may not be giving up my birthright, but I am giving up time with my kids, meeting my weight goal. And those are just two things I can think of. 

Today (I almost said this week, but lets just take it one day at a time) I am going to write down what I eat and email it to a friend so she can keep me accountable. What are you doing to help you reach a goal? I would love to hear about it!

Casting anxieties...

1 Peter 5:7-8 

⁷  casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. ⁸  Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.