Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Drawing near to God...

Last night was an emotional night. I should back up to earlier in the day at soccer practice for Ian.

Ian did not do good during soccer practice. I'm not talking about his talent, but his attitude. He was just throwing fits right and left. Crying and screaming and fighting us on everything. To be honest, I was a little embarrassed. By the end of practice I finally just took him to the car to wait while Justin brought everything back to the car. 

On the way to the car Ian began to scream "my head, my head, I'm thirsty, my head hurts, I'm thirsty!" At this point I began to get worried about it. We got in the car and I looked to see if there was any water, of course the one time we need it we didn't leave any in the car. So I drive closer to where Justin and Owen are at. Justin brought some water (thankfully) so we got Ian to drinking water. He finally calmed down. Once at home I talked with him about what happened and he went to bed with out fighting us. 

I am thinking that Ian was dehydrated. This scared me to death! I felt horrible for not making sure my boy was drinking enough. We had played outside earlier in the day and he didn't drink much then either. By the time that Justin and I went to bed it was just too much. I began to cry and couldn't stop. I was so scared that God was going to take one of our boys away from us. It was unlike any feeling I have ever had. 

I got up and checked on Ian, took him to the bathroom to make sure he had enough in him to go, then I got back in bed and just kept crying. I think it scared Justin a little bit because at one point he got up and checked on Ian. He prayed with me and worked on calming me down. 

I just couldn't shake it. So I finally just got on the floor, on my knees, and began to cry out to God. I'm talking head on the floor, tears flowing down the face crying out to God kind of praying. I don't think I have ever done this with such strong emotions. 

I wish that my words could capture the intensity of last night. Sadly I am not that great of a writer. I do want to say that after about 20 minutes, well it at least felt like that long, it probably was like 5 minutes or something, I finally felt a peace from God. I laid down on the floor and began to relax and go to sleep. At some point I crawled back into bed and was able to sleep. Good sleep too. God was truly with us in this house last night. 

I don't know if anyone is reading this, but I really just wanted to post it so that someday I will be able to look back and remember this time. So that I can remember what God taught me, even though I can't seem to put that into words. I pray that God will remind me daily how I should rely on him as I did last night. 

Can I pray for you about anything? Comment and let me know.

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