I'm having a rough week. Today I honestly just want to crawl under a blanket and go back to bed. Closing my eyes sounds so wonderful right now. And yet, here I am, awake and finding myself with much responsibility.
I suffer with depression. Do you? As a wife and mother of 2 boys, it's hard to suffer with depression. Because you're already feeling down and then the kids expect so much from you that you then beat yourself up for not being able to meet the needs of your kids. Then your husband comes home and you realize you have also let him down. It spirals deeper and deeper until all you want to do is close your eyes and dream. Dream about the thinner you, the more productive you, the active you. You can fill in the blank.
This usually lasts a few days. Then for some reason my hormones decide to change up and I find myself feeling better. Feeling like it doesn't matter that I'm over weight or that my house is a mess. But able to enjoy life. Able to enjoy my kids and my husband.
If you deal with depression I want to encourage you today to talk to someone about it. Don't let your thoughts stay inside your mind. Let someone else know what you are thinking. It can be your husband, although I recommend telling him in advance that you are just needing to get words out, that you don't really need his answer to your problems, just a listening ear. It can be a counselor. I highly recommend this! Find someone who believes the same as you do about God. I also recommend going to someone who is the same sex as you. You could find a trusted friend who is willing to listen and not judge. Most importantly, find someone to talk to. Maybe even start a blog or a journal to write your thoughts on.
I hope that you know that you aren't alone (I'm speaking to myself as much as I am to you).