Much better...

Tonight's bedtime was much better than the rest of this weeks! Thanking God for that among other things, like the fact that Justin and I get a date on Saturday night, woot woot!

It's tough being a mom...

In all the 4 1/2 year I have been a mom I have never had such a difficult time as I have the past two nights. Now I have had moments when I just needed a break, time to myself or with girlfriends, but never, NEVER have I felt like leaving and not coming back, which is how I felt tonight.

I hate to admit this because it is such a horrible thought. It is something I would totally judge another person for doing. I guess the difference between me and someone who has left their family is that I only thought it, I am not going to do it. 

As I sat on the end of my son's bed tonight I began to cry. You see he has been making such poor decisions lately, especially at  bed time. It makes it tough to be a mom when he is like that. He doesn't care about what the consequences are. We take things away as punishment, but he doesn't seem to care about anything enough to care. We have spanked, again he doesn't seem to care, he will cry and then with in a few minutes be at it again! 

Tonight was my breaking point I guess. As I mentioned I just sat on his bed and cried. At this point he had settled down for the most part. My oldest son proceeded to ask why I was crying and I didn't know what to say, so this is what I said "I'm just tired of you boys making such poor choices. It hurts my heart and wears me out."  I hope that maybe they will see the effect their choices have on me and perhaps that will get them to make better choices. 

Something that came into my mind as I sat there and cried was how God must feel. Everyone in this world, Christians and non Christians, sin, we make poor choices on a daily basis. How many times has he sat in heaven and wondered why we make such stupid decisions. At that moment I was so very thankful that God is God and I am not. Let's just say we should all be thankful of that! If I were God I would have walked away a long time ago, I'm talking Adam and Eve time period. 

Before I left the room I told the kids that I loved them. I think when I go to sleep at night God must be whispering that in my ear too. I hope that I can be a better child of God. I hope that I can set the example to my kids so that one day they too will become children of God. I'm so thankful for a forgiving God, which is why I am going to forgive my children, even if they don't ask for it. I love them, more than they will ever know!

6. If you could have three wishes, what would you wish for...

30 things my kids should know about me: If you could have three wishes, what would you wish for?

 

#1. That our house would sell. Anyone who has ever had to sell their house understands this!

 

#2. To be at my goal weight of course! Anyone who has ever had weight to loose understands this!

 

#3. More wishes of course! :) 

Valentines day party...

This year we decided to have a family Valentines day party! It was a lot of fun. We did home made pizza for dinner. Ian helped make his and Owen's pizza! We had sprite with cherry crystal light heart shaped ice cubes (thank you dollar spot at Target!), we even put sugar sprinkles around our cups to make them look pretty!

After dinner we decided to give the boys their gift. They got a Batman paint book (the one where the paint is built into the book and all you have to do is use a brush and water to use it)! Then we did some balloon rocket races! That was a big hit! Thank you Pinterest for most of these ideas :)

Flowers from my love...

I sure do love my husband! He did good, very good by sending me these flowers today! I don't think my gift to him even measures up, but I hope he will like it and that it will show him that I love him!

Adoption fundraising...

One of my friends is having an adoption fundraiser! If you are interested in hearing her story and donating to help her and her husband, then head on over to her blog and read all about it!

Just click here!

What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?

30 things my kids should know about me: What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?

1. Ian and Owen's laugh. Seriously, you can't help but smile when they get to giggling so much!
2. Seeing the power of God. I, along with many others, have been praying for a dear friends adoption to be finalized. Even though it isn't complete yet, we have for sure seen God's power through the entire situation and that just makes me happy!
3. Justin. I know, so cheesy, but he really does make me happy. The other day I woke up to this:

4. Nice weather. It really just lifts my spirits to be able to have the door open or windows open. To let the boys play outside. I just love it and it for sure makes me happy!
5. Cheap buys. So lame I know, but I love to find a good deal on things and it just make me happy knowing that I am saving money!

My due date...

It is weird to think, that had I not miscarried, I would be preparing for a newborn to be born in the next few days. 

I'm not sure what I feel about that, but I do know that God had this entire situation under control and things worked out the way they needed to.

List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could...

30 things my kids should know about me: List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.

1. True love is not felt, it is worked at.

2. Begin to eat healthy and work out now. Maybe even start Weight Watchers. It only becomes harder with age. 

3. Don't be afraid to try new things. It's true what they say, life is short.

4. Don't be afraid to show God's love to those around you. There are a few that won't make it past their 20's and you could be the only Jesus they see.

5. Be yourself, always.

6. Remember that no one is perfect. When others make mistakes, love on them, you will be on the other end of that someday.

7. Spend extra time with the grandparents. Get to know them and about the history of your family.

8. Did I mention that true love is not a feeling? Because I think that is a huge thing to remember. 

9. Don't get in debt (okay, that is more like something to tell my college self, but still worth mentioning).

10. Invest in Google (HA! This is what my husband said, I thought it was good enough to put on here). 

So I'm not actually 16 here, but this is me at about age 17 or 18. That is my niece, she is now 13. Oh man I'm old!

If you are keeping track of the original list that I am going off of, you may have noticed I skipped number 3. It is a pretty deep question and I want to make sure I answer it with wisdom and respect to my husband. 

 

Describe 3 legitimate fears and explain how they became fears...

30 things my kids should know about me: Describe 3 legitimate fears and explain how they became fears.

Fear 1: Spiders. I know this might be one that everyone could post, however I have a real reason for being scared of the. When I was three years old I was bitten by a spider and its poison lodged in my leg. Because of this I have a condition called Lymphademia. So there you go, my fear is legitimate. 

Fear 2: dying before my kids are old enough to deal with it. Not that dealing with a parents death is ever good, but I think that when you become a certain age you begin to prepare yourself for things like that. I'm not even there yet, so I know that my sweet little boys are not either. 

Fear 3: Justin leaving and/or dying. I just don't know what I would do with out him. Even when things are though, I know that God brought us together. Not only does he provide for our family financially, but he is our leader in a spiritual way too. He encourages me like no one else could. Part of this fear comes because my dad cheated on my mom, more than once. 

So there you go, 3 legitimate fears.